So life has kind of taken over and I can't quite keep up with my blog the way I wanted to and I've decided that's ok. Spending quality time with my girls and giving Jayson as much of my time as I can is more important to me. <<big sigh>> Today was a rough one. The morning started out stressful and apparently that was the theme the girls wanted to carry out for the day. But at the same token, they know exactly when I most need them. I definitely had a breakdown into tears tonight and Annabelle came over, took my hands, and just smiled at me. Then when I pulled her into a hug, she didn't pull away, just hugged me back and patted my back so sweetly. God has truly blessed her, and ultimately me, with a big heart. They are both growing so fast and get sweeter everyday. Even when they're trying my patience, they manage to be sweet and cute about it. We all miss Jayson so much but we're holding onto each other as often as possible and that seems to help. And I feel like there is so much that I want to say here but I've just got no energy and my mind goes blank when I try to grasp at thoughts. The only thought I'm able to get ahold of seems to be how much I miss him. I'm really trying to make this blog about the whole experience we're having with the deployment and not focus on the sadness and depression of it but today is just one of those days where I can't seem to stop crying. I will tell you one thing that the girls and I started a little while ago. Every night we turn everything in the house off and say prayers for Jayson. When we finish and say "Amen," we turn on a lantern that we place in our front window as a light to shine for Daddy to see his way back to us.
On another note, I practically gouged my eye out tonight on the corner of a cardboard box so that hurts. Got some fun surprises in the mail for me and the girls and another for dinner which really helped ease my stress (THANKS!!). And I definitely know why my girls are growing so fast, they can put food away like nobody's business. And I'm willing to bet that they could each go through a gallon of milk over the course of three days themselves. They must take after their Daddy.
Aaaaaand as I said, it's really been a long day so I think I'm gonna snuggle up with my Annabelle and try to go to sleep. Goodnight. I LOVE you Jayson!!!
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